


Is This a Matter of Worse or of Better?

by nickyz



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, mentions of chiaki's death, pre story but then time skips to post story, servant doesn't get that close to actually doing it but he tries, teen rated for the darker theme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:42:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25344874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nickyz/pseuds/nickyz
Summary: the one death kamukura couldn't stand by and watch.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Kamukura Izuru/Komaeda Nagito
Comments: 4
Kudos: 273
Collections: Mixed_Fics





	Is This a Matter of Worse or of Better?

"What is it that you are doing?"

A smooth, calm voice drifts across the polluted air to reach his ears, framed by dirty and matted hair. He almost laughs, his luck so absurd and unbelievable sometimes- Kamukura showing up? At a time like this? It was like his luck specifically chose the worst possible person. Instead, however, he responds in a rasp, throat dry. He can't remember the last time he's had a drink. Or food... or anything other than the putrid air that filled his already sickly lungs.

"That kind of question is unlike you, Kamukura-sama. You know what I'm doing." Servant hummed, hands clasped behind his back.

Kamukura did, indeed, know what Servant was up to. It was painfully obvious to someone as smart and observant as he, probably even the average human too, but he found himself at a loss at the  _ why _ of it. And Kamukura could  _ not _ be unsure about  _ anything _ . 

"But I do not understand why you are choosing this." Kamukura didn't move closer, not even showing interest in catching Servant if he did end up throwing himself off the edge. It was not his place. Let maggots do as they please, and simply observe the carnage from afar. That was his way of life. What others did had no effect on himself.

"Ooh, I've managed to stump Kamukura-sama?" Servant rocked on his feet precariously. "I'm so glad I could provide you even the smallest amount of curiosity in my final moments! Ah, I wonder what kind of  _ hope _ -" 

"Stop talking. Answer me before I really lose interest." 

"Yes, yes! Anything for you, as always." Servant takes a peek at the ground below, and he almost can't make it out. What a beautiful, gorey scene his impact will make. The hope caused by ridding the world of someone as awful as him would be substantial! It was nauseating. He stumbled a bit, almost falling, as he became suddenly dizzy. "I wish to die."

Kamukura raised an eyebrow. "What mortal wishes for death? I still do not understand."

"I'd hardly call myself human, Kamukura-sama. I stopped being one a long time ago." If Kamukura heard the lightest undertone of sadness in Servant's tone, which he no doubt did, he chose to ignore it. Servant, in reality, was the most human out of all the remnants- something in him was resilient against Junko’s charm. "Maybe that is why I can face death with such joy in my heart."

Distantly, as Servant managed to twist his answer into something about hope, Kamukura recalled a face from his past. A young girl, her hair a light pink and skin that looked soft to the touch, shaking and trembling in a pool of red. He remembered her desperation to reach that person who was destroyed to create him, her fear of death as she cried out that she was not ready for it yet. The stench and sight of blood as it gushed from her body and soaked his shoes. The tears that streamed down his face and hers as she took her last breath, reaching out to him. He reached a hand towards his cheek, grazing it…

"Kamukura-sama…" The Servant said in awe, "You are crying." 

"Is that so." He said flatly, letting the tears fall, so immensely intrigued by them- how they even managed to exist within his perfect being, how he could not control them and will them away. Something deep inside did not want Servant to die, that is why he was reminded of that girl, who had been a friend to his past life. To think of Servant in the same way, bloodied and suffering at his feet, crying to God- to  _ him-  _ that he was not ready to pass on yet… he felt his body shudder, his heart rate increase, adrenaline pumping in his veins. A fear response. Interesting. He’d never felt fear- not even with that girl. All she’d provided was sorrow.

"Is Kamukura-sama alright?" Servant asked in genuine concern, still not stepping off from his perch on that ledge. "Have I upset you…? I am so, so sorry, I really  _ am _ worthless-" 

Kamukura walked towards him, coldly, mechanically. But his fists remained clenched at his sides, the tears did not stop. His body was begging him, crying out much like that girl had. _Please don't lose him, too,_ it asked of him. He was uncomfortably fine with listening to it. "I do not permit this."

"...Huh?" Servant blinked owlishly, then gasped when Kamukura's hand shot out to grip him by the neck of his sweater, tugging him away from imminent doom by force. Servant was slightly taller, so Kamukura had to make more of an effort to lift him off the ground, but he did so flawlessly anyway. "Ah! Kamukura-sama-"

"You are not allowed to die." Kamukura kept his hold, and Servant practically withered at his feet, in ecstasy from being touched by him. He was babbling something about hope and beauty, complimenting Kamukura and praising him sweetly. Kamukura narrowed his eyes. Servant was not listening.

A sharp crack, loud enough to echo, ripped through the disgusting air.

Servant placed a hand to his cheek. It was burning hot and  _ damn _ did it hurt, and it shone brightly on such pale skin. Kamukura did not hold back this time. Servant knew Kamukura could likely snap his neck with just a flick to his cheek, but Kamukura didn’t usually slap him to cause pain. Just to command attention.

"I do not permit you to die. _"_ He repeated for the sake of Servant's feeble, disease-ridden brain. "If you were to die, I would be very disappointed." 

"You do not have to pretend to care for me, Kamukura-sama." Servant let out a wheezy, venom-filled laugh. Was the venom directed at Kamukura, or himself? "Ah! Though I am honored you would, of course. I am undeserving of-"

" _ Shut up. _ " Kamukura, much to his own surprise, growled. His emotionless demeanor usually made him come off as always annoyed or angry, but realistically, he could not feel those things. For a moment just now, though, he was absolutely sure that he did. Another new feeling caused solely by this freak... Servant struggled, but Kamukura did not let him go. "I decide who is and is not worthy of my presence." 

"Ah-"

Servant was dropped hard onto his ass. He winced, chain rattling against the concrete. That would be one hell of a bruise soon, but then again, so would the slap. Servant bruised so easily.

"Get up. We are going back. That is an order."

His white haired companion was up in an instant, still rubbing at his sore ass and face, but overwhelmingly giddy. He couldn't stop smiling, and it was the realest smile he'd made in a long time. He was  _ always  _ smiling, but it's not as if any of them were  _ real.  _ Kamukura noted this.

"Thank you, Kamukura-sama!" Servant cooed, clinging to a firm arm cloaked in black, practically being dragged along as this did not slow Kamukura's pace at all. "I love you! You are truly amazing!" 

Kamukura thought he felt a twinge of something else, but couldn’t place what it was.

* * *

  
  


"Nagito."

Nagito glanced up from the book resting against the stump where the rest of his arm used to be, freshly bandaged from the surgery Hajime had performed himself a day prior. His one remaining hand was currently preoccupied with holding Hajime's, but was definitely  _ not  _ complaining about that. "Mmm... yes, Hajime?"

Hajime moved a strand of hair out of his face- hair that was annoyingly long but that he'd also been too reluctant to cut just yet. He should've tied his own ponytail instead of letting Nagito do it. How he’d managed at all with a single hand was a mystery. "I've been feeling things," he started, but then trailed off. Nagito smiled encouragingly, squeezing Hajime’s hand and pushing the book off to the side a bit.

"That's wonderful! You wanted to talk about those feelings, right? I'd be happy to."

Hajime felt his heart tighten in his chest, and it was such a breathless feeling. How did he ever live without it? "I care about you." He tried, but frowned. That wasn't right. Nagito nodded, telling him ‘ _ go on, try again’. _ "I… love you." He tested the weight of the word on his tongue. That was definitely it. "I  _ love _ you." He repeated, sure of it now.

"Hajime…" Nagito glanced away, then glanced back. "Are you certain?"

"Would I be saying it if I wasn't?" Hajime leaned down, unsure of why. His messy ponytail fell over his shoulders. "Though… I'll admit I'm not sure what to  _ do _ about it." He just had this burning desire to be close to Nagito, to hold him, completely envelop him. Nagito freed his hand from Hajime's unintentional death-grip, and placed it on his back.

"I can think of one thing." He grinned, his other mangled arm coming to wrap around Hajime's neck the best it could. Heterochromic eyes bore into pale green, and Nagito let out a wheezing laugh. Hajime loved that, too, he decided.

If Mikan happened to walk by their hospital room and see the two sharing the softest of kisses, then hugging and cuddling until Hajime had no choice but to join Nagito in the hospital bed to get any closer, she was kind enough to say nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> woof woof bark bark i finally wrote a little kamukoma  
> listen to the bed song (discarded version) for the full vibes of this fic
> 
> edit: adding my twitter to all my fics so you can follow me [here](https://twitter.com/chaosblast_)


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